Tonight Mariska Hargitay, who recently directed an Emmy winning documentary and also made her Broadway debut, became the first woman to host the Emmy Awards in 15 years, and at least in the show’s fairly brief opening monologue mostly steered clear of attempting to out-do the outrageous comedy talents of previous hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey.

Immediately following a so-so pre-taped song parody of Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock ’n’ Roll” retitled “I Love TV Screens,” in which Hargitay quipped with Jalen Brunson and Jean Smart, among others, and lip-synced to her own pre-recorded lyrics that name-dropped any number of nominees, the host took to the Emmy stage in a gorgeous, silvery-white glam gown and quickly set about keeping expectations in check.

“I am so incredibly proud to be the first woman to host the Emmys in 15 years,” she said. “For 15 straight years, Amy and Tina said no.”

Hargitay also wasted no time getting to the Law & Order jokes. “The Emmys are celebrating their 78th year, and NBC is celebrating its 100th year,” she said, “and I have been on Law and Order: SVU for all of them.”

And another: “It is so reassuring to see so many familiar faces out there,” she said, surveying the audience, “and I’m just talking about how many of you I’ve arrested on SVU. You guys have done some unspeakable things. I’m talking to you, Martin Short.”

Hargitay then took on her boss: “I couldn’t do any of this without thanking the genius behind SVU, the legendary Dick Wolf, who has created over 40 shows, 13 of which are on the air right now, and I gotta say, you know, over the years there have been a lot of jokes about his name, which is so unfair because Dick Wolf isn’t even his real name. His real name is Richard Penis.”

With that groaner out of the way, Hargitay got serious, saying that she had been advised not to “go for sincerity” but decided to ignore that wisdom.

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“I am truly deeply moved,” she said, “and so incredibly grateful to be in a room full of people who have dedicated their lives to telling stories since the beginning of time, humans have all gathered around the light to tell stories. Back then, it was the fire in the cave, and now it’s the screen of your choice.“But no matter how we watch, and even though we’re worlds apart, we’re all still holding a bit of that communal light, and at the end of the day, we come to TV for magic, to laugh, to cry, to care, because we need that, all of us, that indescribable feeling that we get when the lights begin to dim, dazzling images on the silver screen…”

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Sound familiar? If you’ve been in an AMC movie theater in the last few years you’ll recognize that speech as Nicole Kidman’s pitch for the theater chain, which Kidman, in the Emmy audience, loudly pointed out, bringing the gag to a blessedly quick end.

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