With the boom in horror movies bigger than ever it seems only natural Paramount and Miramax would try to revive the money-printing Scary Movie franchise last seen in 2013 with the fifth installment and having collectively grossed nearly $900 million worldwide over five films. With Paramount riding high on Scream and Smile franchises, not to mention A Quiet Place, this is a no-brainer, and in convincing the OGs of the series, the Wayans dynasty, to return after a quarter century away how can you lose? Well it’s expected to make some big boxoffice bucks this weekend, but sadly this reboot, simply called once again Scary Movie, is surprisingly devoid of many laughs. Instead we get a flat-footed and predictable satire that looks like the Wayans just threw whatever tired ideas they had at the wall to see what still sticks.
Missing many opportunities for genuine satirical home runs , this sixth go round doesn’t try to reinvent the wheel but unfortunately can’t find much new to say about this genre, instead stuck in the same old formula even with the OG cast and characters back in charge.
Written by Marlon & Shawn & Craig & Keenan Ivory Wayans along with Rick Alvarez, but this time directed by Michael Tiddes, we have the return of four key characters who started it all back at the turn of this century: Shorty (Marlon Wayans), Ray (Shawn Wayans), Brenda (Regina Hall), and Cindy (Anna Faris), and their main nemesis also hasn’t changed much as Ghostface is the main villain here, a constant threat and adversary to all who get in the way of this Scream icon. That movie, also recently rebooted by Paramount isn’t the only horror hit getting skewered here, but it dominates.
The film opens very promisingly though with a much more up to date takeoff on this year’s Best Picture Oscar winner, One Battle After Another in the form of Teyana Taylor sitting at a bar playing her sassy self, shouting Viva Le Revolution! Soon she is out in the streets with her army battling Ghostface after being insulting for “losing the Oscar”. She pulls out another statuette like a weapon and responds, “yes but I’ve got my Golden Globe!” Okay so this was fresh and funny, as was another takeoff on current hit, Michael where things don’t go well for the King Of Pop (Kenan Thompson turns up to play him) leading to a TV ad for an instantly created sequel: Jermaine Coming Juneteenth.
The best bit with Ghostface involves a smart and hilarious takeoff on The Substance where Cheri Oteri, doing her best Demi Moore, gets sliced open by the masked Scream icon and out comes the Unredacted Epstein Files. I laughed. I wish I laughed more. Even the guy next to me who couldn’t stop roaring for the first 20 minutes or so finally stopped, perhaps realizing not much of this is that funny.
Too much of this jokebook simply doesn’t land, and at the press screening Wednesday night I could feel large swaths of the movie just laying there. In pure Wayans fashion what could have been a smart take on Sinners instead turns into a homophobic routine that makes you cringe more than laugh. There is also the excessive use of the N word throughout, and a dopey martial arts fight with prosthetic penises rather than swords. Paramount has asked that we withhold any spoilers but quite frankly I wouldn’t know what to spoil. For the most part this edition, which promised to “Cancel Cancel Culture” doesn’t live up to that pledge. Its not easy spoofing a genre that virtually spoofs itself these days. How many times can we go back to the Scream well when the movie and its endless sequels and reboots does it for us?
Among the cast Faris seems to be having the most fun and livens this up. Marlon struggles for laughs as if he is embarrassed to be back doing this thing again. A certain Kazaam star cameo is fun but are we really still doing Shaq jokes? And where is Aunt Gladys? The Weapons stuff here doesn’t come close to measuring up to what Conan O’Brien did with it to open the Oscars.
Maybe the Wayans should have waited a couple more years. With the You Tube horror sensations Backrooms and Obsession making history and competing this weekend with Scary Movie for box office gold you can just imagine the fun they might have had with them.
Producers are Rick Alvarez,, Craig Wayans, Marlon Wayans,, Shawn Wayans, Keenen Ivory Wayans.
Screenplay: Marlon Wayans & Shawn Wayans & Keenen Ivory Wayans & Craig Wayans & Rick Alvarez
Cast: Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Kenan Thompson, Dave Sheridan, Lochlyn Munro, Kim Wayans, Cheri Oteri, Chris Elliott, Damon Wayans Jr., Heidi Gardner, Olivia Rose Keegan, Cameron Scott Roberts, Savannah Lee Nassif, Sydney Park, Gregg Wayans, Benny Zielke, Ruby Snowber
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