Reality TV does not have an enviable track record of transferring small screen success to the big screen. 2003’s American Idol extension, From Justin To Kelly pairing the first Idol finalists Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson in a romantic teen comedy is considered one of the worst films ever made. Survivor, The Amazing Race, Big Brother, and their ilk are better left off as weekly watches than a movie you have to pay for so fortunately they haven’t even tried.
But along comes Stop! That! Train! to prove me wrong, except it really doesn’t. This spinoff from the wildly successful Emmy winning RuPaul’s Drag Race is certainly a spirited attempt to transfer the joy and love for the reality series into a viable motion picture that admirably is one of the very rare big screen vehicles to have a largely Drag Queen cast starring in it. So, points for that. The premise behind it, a Drag version and homage to the Zuckers 80’s era Airplane and Naked Gun movies, a campy takeoff on disaster movies, is a bit dated but you can see why director Adam Shankman and screenwriters Christina Friel and Connor Wright went for it. Setting a coming Stormagonza on a moving modern train, the Glamazonian Express is fodder for funny, and in hit or miss fashion some of this concoction lands the jokes, just not enough of them to make you remember this movie by the time you get from your seat to your car.
What does work in this month of Pride, is the delightful cast giving it their all. The story revolves around Tess and Dee Dee played to the hilt by Drag Race favorites Ginger Minj and the irresistible JuJuBee. They find their careers as train stewardesses in the transportation industry are at a dead at the super discount Stank Rail. Their despair doesn’t last long when they come up with the idea to weasle their way on to the staff of the rockin’ Glamazonian Express, something they do by creatively crafting the flashy outfits the employees wear while serving the passengers. They however are relegated to Coach, while the ‘mean girls’ trio of Ayshleiygh (Symone), Amber (Brooke Lynn Hytes – love that name), and Alli ((Marcia Marcia Marcia) entertain with musical numbers while working first class. However when disaster looms as the Train Conductor is downed by a Scorpion, and other calamities occur including a raging storm, Tess and Dee Dee are called into action, teaming with the snobbier stewardesses and, yes, the U.S. President Gagwell (RuPaul) who all must come to the rescue and save the day.
This is the story the non-stop gags are hitched to, and it is also where a comic format that made us roar in the 80’s , that seemed fresh and inventive then, seems stale now, or at least in this incarnation. It does seem to be making a comeback though. The Naked Gun reboot last summer, and even another film from the Bleecker Street , Fackham Hall , a satire of Downton Abbey, have attempted to revive the lunacy to mixed success. Stop! That! Train! won’t do much to help, but it has its moments tailor made for an ultra campy gay time at the movies. The real deal drag queens give it what goofy life it has, even when the most tired of the dick jokes let them down. What can I say about a movie that sports none other than Charo in its long list of cameos.
Speaking of the inevitable cameos including Charo, who I am sure is flattered to be remembered, you have a train load of them: Rachel Bloom, Jerry O’Connell, Chris Parnell, Joel Mc Hale, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Nicole Richie, Lisa Rinna, Jai Rodriguez, Matt Rogers, Raven Symone, Michelle Visage, and Sarah Michelle Gellar who runs the joke of playing “Famous Actress” into the ground as no one seems to recognize her.
The one person who seems to be playing on another level here though is none other than RuPaul himself, a skilled performer and actor who makes this President credible and commanding as well as fun. The rest of the Drag cast do their best but, charming and fun as they are, it all really isn’t that much better than what we’ve seen on any episode of the TV show. Still the fact that a feature film is anchored with these performers makes Stop! That! Train! a bit of fan service that will still provide a good enough time for the crowd who can’t get enough of RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Producers are Fenton Bailey, Randy Barbato,Tom Campbell, RuPaulCharles, and Shankman.
Cast: Ginger Minj, JuJuBee, Symone, Brooke Lynn Hytes, Marcia Marcia Marcia, RuPaul Charles, Latrice Royale.
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